I was listening all my old CDs the whole week. Tonight, it’s OC Music Mix 1.
I remember so vividly that I bought the CD because of this exact moment of the show. I fell in love with the series and the song at the same time.
The O.C. was not perfect, but every now and then, it captured the beauty and sadness of youth in a way people remember. The first kiss, the first heart break, the special someone who shared the beautiful moment with you. Somehow, the O.C. unlocks those feelings, and you realize, you have lived through some very beautiful moments in your life.
He sure knows how charming he is….
[After being hijacked and faced with death]…I became a bit like Sherlock for the people who were around me and had to deal with me in that I became very impatient and insisting on living anything but a normal life, because that experience made me realize two things: One, you die alone. no matter who you are or who you’re leaving behind, you have to face death alone. And also, the fact that I was too young to die, it made me…angry to live, if that makes any kind of sense. So I had a sort of profound insight really, and a fantastic dinner party anecdote, at the hands of these people, and you know, could have been left with scars, physical and emotional. It could have been a lot worse. I wasn’t beaten up; I was tied up and pushed around a bit, put in the boot of a car, as well as the side of the road, and I had a gun put to my head, but I wasn’t pistol-whipped, I wasn’t beaten with a stick, I wasn’t raped, I wasn’t cut…there’s an awful lot that didn’t happen that I can be thankful for, because ultimately it was a very small event in a very big country, and the next day there was a newspaper head that to give me some perspective, and immediately rationalized what had happened to us, and give us context as to how this was something to be got over, rather than be traumatized by. Another man had been carjacked ..uh, not on the side of the road, but at a crossing, and the guy panicked and shot him before he even know what was in the car. There was a 2 Rand (their currency) coin, which is uh… you know, a decimal point. It doesn’t even value a cent. And that’s all that was in his car. And the guy was caught, and I don’t even know if he was shot as well, or if he was taken down, but um… it was a very big event in my life, but it was one that i have learned from, rather than being traumatized from. I went to see a counselor the minute after that happened. One of the actors I was with didn’t, and the other did, and I think it was harder for them. I’m not going to speak on for them on this program, but I think the main way it changed me was um…Well, I cried the first time I felt the sun on my face the next day, you know. There were a lot of sort of this born again, resurrected feelings, this sort of preciousness and wonder and beauty that is life. I mean it’s such a blessing. And I know it sounds a bit soppy, but when you’ve come near death., you really, really learn to reevaluate it, and that’s a great thing to get in your twenties, and you start using your vivacity not to kick against the ‘oh, I’m immortal, there’s no such thing as mortality’, but to embrace your mortality, and take control of it. So I went off and skydove, and swam with sharks, and I did lots of kind of crazy adrenaline fueled stuff. But I also kind of traveled on my own afterwards for about a month around [a town I can’t understand the name of] and Cape Town, and sat in it. Sat in my feelings, pondered, dwelled on it, moved around in it, dismissed it, came back to it, you know. It’s always there, and I’m fine talking about it, and it’s a…it’s a fucking exhausting anecdote, and I’m not going to excuse my swearing there because it is a really big story to go into…I think in this instance you can bleep me out, and I think people might understand. It’s a big story, and it’s a wonderful one to tell, and I feel a bit pale and wane after going through it, but it’s not something…[pauses] …I dunno, I’ve had near death experiences since then, and that’s obviously been the most acute one I should say, but I’ve got nothing other than good out of it, really. The positive drive you get out of it wanting to live a life less ordinary has borne fruit that sort of quelled the other things in me that sort of knocked my equilibrium and calm about a bit. I’ve kind of done a lot of those. So I mean, yeah it kind of… not, you know, happened for a reason. I don’t believe these things happen for a reason, they just do, I was just in that place at that time, but it was an extraordinary, extraordinary thing, and it’s definitely shaped part of who I am….[after another question from the interviewer]… “We found our salvation at this roadside curio shop….Where they were making these woven baskets made out of wire and recycled beads and these fantastic beautiful, beautiful, *beautiful* carvings, and uh…it was run by the two ro three women in this hut, and there were these men standing by….and that was the light we ran to on the horizon when we realized it was all over, and that they really had gone and just left us tied up on the roadside, and that’s where we ran to. And when I was there, I still had my shoelace tied around my right hand, and I hadn’t bothered untying it, and as I was telling this story and these women were clucking and ticking and just crying and shaking their heads and saying, ’ For shame, for shame, they steal from us too, We’re so sorry this happened to you in our country.’ It was profoundly moving, and then to add to that, there was this, this hand came out, this black hand, came out and untied the thing that had been used for my bondage and my white flesh…and the whole thing just snowballed in my head. Just…everything, everything… that we’ve…well, white, have done to the culture, and the whole thing just sort of suddenly smashed in, and it was a profoundly moving moment, and I looked up into this man’s face…having been scared by the men that were there initially, because, *could* they be with the gang, especially because we had our heads to the ground and our eyes averted from their faces because they didn’t want us to identify them. You’re a far more likely target for a killing, so you practice hard at *not* witnessing what is going on….so to be able to look into a black man’s face in the night, in South Africa, and say ‘Thank you’… with tears running down your face as he takes away the final kind of…token, I guess, of the night’s trauma…and that was wonderful. and it was a huge part of the healing. And I wrote to him soon afterwards and explained that to him, and he understood completely what I meant.
This man…I respected him for his acting before, but I cannot even begin to express how much an impact listening to this interview made on me. I could very much relate having had near death experiences, and it was so wonderful to finally see someone else come out the other side as whole and re-birthed for life as he did.
“…this sort of preciousness and wonder and beauty that is life. I mean it’s such a blessing.” - and this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the main reasons I love him so much. What a man.